Instead, parents often become enraged and take this behavior personally, especially if the child exhibits this behavior in the presence of others. Our job, as parents is to guide them and show them how they should behave when they are displeased. Much of what we expect of our children doesn’t actually line up with how their brains work at a particular age.įor instance, parents often ask me, “How do I get my toddler to stop hitting?” Or “How do I get my toddler to stop throwing tantrums?” Both of those actions, while unpleasant, are developmentally appropriate. We must model the behavior we’d like to see in our children, while also understanding where they are in their development. Instead of reacting to our children from our egos, parents are urged to use patience, understanding, and awareness. Shefali Tsabary, encourages intentionality on the part of parents. I’ll share more of my story in subsequent posts, but if you’d like to learn even more about Conscious Parenting grab my ebook, No Right Way, here. In fact, I live with chronic anxiety and a host of other challenges stemming from traditional parenting.
We fear what we do not know or understand.Īs a mother to two black sons, I am keenly aware of the world we live in, but I’m also recipient of tough parenting and it did not prepare me for the world. All of these beliefs, of course, are rooted in fear. There is also this bizarre belief that compassion, kindness, and understanding is the reason why there are so many angry, violent, and disrespectful young people. Critics often say, “The world isn’t full of rainbows and sunshine, our kids need to be prepared for the real world.” “Spare the rod spoil child,” is another one that gets thrown my way at least once a week. Anything else is seen as permissive and a recipe for raising juvenile delinquents. Much of the pushback Conscious Parents receive is because we live in a society of rules, and we’ve been conditioned to believe that the only way we can ensure that we raise children who follow the rules is by being tough. On the contrary, I’ve never felt more sane and on top of my parenting since I embarked on my Conscious Parenting journey two years ago. If you’ve not heard of this style of parenting before, everything I’ve just written sounds like madness. Kindness above all else, no matter what the child does. In practice, Conscious Parenting is everything opposite from the way in which most of us were raised. You cannot be gentle if you are not conscious. It is often referred to as Gentle Parenting, however, I’ve always felt that label doesn’t quite fit as it doesn’t lean heavily enough on the idea of consciousness.
In a nutshell, Conscious Parenting is a research and science-backed parenting style that focuses on the parent-child relationship as well as the child’s development.
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